What is Counselling?

Counselling is a time and space for you to talk about whatever is troubling you.  The counsellor aims to create a safe, confidential and non-judgemental relationship in which you can feel confident to speak freely.  The counsellor’s role is to work alongside you to help you make sense of your issues or problems, gain new insights and come to your own decisions about a way forward.  Counselling sessions last 50 minutes each and are usually arranged weekly, at the same time each week. 

These are some of the issues that counselling can help to address:

• Stress, including work-related stress
• Low confidence, low self esteem
• Low mood, depression
• Feeling unhappy or dissatisfied with life
• Anxiety, panic attacks
• Sleeping problems
• Relationship difficulties
• Bereavement and loss
• Eating disorders
• Sexual issues
• Sexual abuse and rape
• Self harm
• Suicidal thoughts

Some clients who attend counselling may have more general feelings of dissatisfaction or unfulfilment.  Also, some clients use counselling to help them come to a particular decision in their life.  You don’t have to have something ‘wrong’ with you, to find counselling helpful.

 How does counselling work?

Being able to talk to someone is important as it helps you to make sense of confused and painful thoughts and feelings which you may have held inside yourself for a long time. Sharing this with another person means you don’t feel on your own with the problem anymore. 

It may be difficult for you to talk to family and friends about personal issues. Talking to someone who is outside your immediate situation and who you can rely on to maintain confidentiality can be very helpful. It can help you to gain a different perspective.

The counsellor will listen to you and make observations about what they hear and see. They will ask questions which enable you to go deeper into an understanding of your thoughts, feelings and behaviour. The counsellor may suggest exercises or activities that could help resolve issues. These may be done during the counselling session or at home, and may involve for example, relaxation techniques, writing or drawing about your thoughts and feelings. 

The counselling relationship

Research shows that the key factor in determining whether counselling is effective is the quality of the relationship between the counsellor and client (the person coming for counselling). Therefore it is important to choose a counsellor you feel comfortable with and someone you can imagine building a good working relationship with.

The counsellor will sometimes ask questions or make observations about the relationship that is developing between you. This is to encourage honest communication which helps to build the relationship. Also there may be links between the way you relate to the counsellor and other relationships in your life. The counselling relationship can give you the opportunity to understand better how you relate to others and also to try out new ways of relating.  For example, if you begin to share honestly with the counsellor you may feel able to start being more honest with your partner or friends. 

How long does counselling last?

The length of counselling varies depending on the issues you are bringing and what you want from counselling.  It can last from 6 weeks or 6 months up to a year or more. The length of counselling will be agreed between you and your counsellor. There is no upper limit to the number of sessions you can have.

When will I start to feel better?

You may find that you feel an initial sense of relief after sharing your situation with the counsellor.  Many people begin to notice positive changes in their thoughts, feelings or behaviour after 6 or 12 sessions.  Issues and problems which are more complex or have been going on for a long time will take longer to resolve.  Because counselling can involve talking about painful memories and difficult emotions, you may feel vulnerable at times during counselling.  This is a normal part of the healing process – painful emotions often need to be expressed and experienced before they can be resolved.  Your counsellor will discuss with you ways of taking care of yourself at these times. 

What your counsellor will not do

• A counsellor should never force you to do anything you are uncomfortable with.  You are always free to say no.
• A counsellor will not tell you what to do and will generally not give answers to problems or advice, however, they may make suggestions and introduce you to different ways of looking at things or new skills such as problem-solving.
• It is against ethical boundaries for a counsellor to invite you to meet them socially or to begin a personal or sexual relationship with you.